Thursday, April 11, 2013

Resusci Anne Was A Creep Fest! Mary C Howse Elementary Made Me Do This In 4th Grade!

*Points old straggly finger at Anne and talks like a ghost* "Kiiiiissss Meeee. KIIIISSSSS MEEEEE!!!"

Did you guys have to do the CPR Resusci Anne when you were in school? Where you had to perform CPR on this creepy ass dummy? I did. In FOURTH grade!! Then again in Seventh. But fourth grade. What were they thinking?

I remember thinking it was kind of scary but looking around the room some of the kids were terrified. Trying not to act nervous. And some were just super embarrassed that they were going to have to put their lips on this actual sized body and blow into it as the whole class watched. "Oh so THAT'S how you would kiss a girl? Oh I see."

I'm thinking of finding out how to volunteer at schools so I can be the person that teaches the kids.....
Like I would go into some schools in the South and make some of the racist kids do CPR on the black male Anne. Holding my clipboard I'd say, "So. You love blacks AND you're gay. Interesting." Maybe rig it so when their lips approach I pump something and it appears that the male Anne is getting a boner. Or just ugly it up with a mane of matted nose hair extending down right above the lips.

Or I would get really close to the kid and say something and when they turned around I'd be wearing one of these Anne masks and whisper, "Join us!"

And I'd choose one special kid that would get these baby Annes. Placed in their bed at night. And they would wake up to the sound of recorded voices saying, "Dad da. Dad da...."

Yeah I gotta get on that.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Linda Cardellini Is Hotter Than Ever. Freaks and Geeks. Brunettes Going Blond.

Does anyone else love the show Freaks And Geeks? I do. Above is Linda Cardelinni. She was on the show. She never really did it for me in the looks department. I mean she was OK but I never thought she was THAT hot. But have you seen her lately?

Man has she aged well. Maybe it's the shaped brows and the makeup I'm not sure. But either way....VavaVOOOM! She's 37 by the way.

Now here she is as a blond.....
Whoa. Stunning. Lots of gals can't pull off the blond thing when they're naturally dark brunette but she does it well. I still like her better as a brunette though.

And here she is showing that she still has a sense of humor.....

Oh beeeeeehaaaaaaaveee!!!! I'm not sure where she was speaking when she did this but would love to find out. And I wonder if she hates that this is one of the photos that shows up first in a Google image search. Also, she does have a long tongue. Am I right? 

Monday, April 8, 2013

I KNOW You'll Like This. Jammie Dodgers Cookies. Monkey On Piano.

OK. I know you guys and I bet you're going to love this English commercial for Jammie Dodger cookies. It's creepy but there's also something sad about it.

Am I right???

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Some Pictures For YOU The Reader. Downingtown Regal. Four Dogs Tavern. Creepy Truck.

Look at this guy staring out the window. What kind of dog is that? Some bull doggy thing? Like a mix? What is he thinking?

How do they sell these gumballs at the Downingtown Regal Theater without a law suit? Isn't this a chocking hazard? They're larger than golf balls!!

The Gibson covered bridge in Downingtown. The bridge that time forgot.

Ahh yes. Here we have the French Dip sandwich at Four Dogs Tavern in Marshalton. But I should have asked for regular horseradish instead of the eating the creamy kind that came with it. But $15 is kinda steep. If you're reading this Four Dogs Tavern please lower it to a more reasonable $11. Thanks.
*Tom Petty's "American Girl plays* "No it's there in the back...Just move to the back a bit."*

This is a truck I see around and I was praying that it wasn't some dude's home but I was able to get close to it and look in. It's a work truck. Phew! And from what I could see there wasn't a single human skull inside. Ten bucks says he named this truck. Probably "Woodsy" or "The Annihilator" or some such nonsense.

*Silence of The Lambs reference. Did you know?

Monday, April 1, 2013

Man Purse Idea Already Made. Damn Germans And Their Design! Unwanted Bulges In Pants.

Do any of you homos have man purses? No? Yeah me neither.

But it does suck being a dude sometimes when you have to carry a bunch of crap around. Cramming it into your pockets. A few years ago I was known to carry a small camera bag once and a while. was only if I was going to a place where I knew the people AND I was swimming or something. AND I had stuff in it like sun tan lotion, a small whiskey, a camera, Swiss army knife. Manly stuff. But I would jokingly call it my man purse. It's not like I carried it around the mall. Jeez!

But I've always thought that someone should come up with an acceptable bag that men can carry. I don't see it happening though. One of my ideas that I came up with was a gun holster that you use to carry all of your shit. And you'd be safe because most people wouldn't say, "Hey, let me see your gun." So you'd be safe and sound. Knowing that your chapstick is just  inches away from you. In your manly man purse gun holster. (And not in your pocket making up unwanted bulges. Distracting from your package)

But sadly, some German company beat me to the punch. First the Holocaust now this!.....