Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Ozzy Osborne. War Pigs. Black Sabbath and TV Stuff.

Many of you may be watching the new Ozzy Osborne Show on the Telly* but check out Ozzy doing War Pigs when he was in Black Sabbath. I was never into Black Sabbath when I was younger but I kind of like them now.

Especially this song. Also, Sharon Osborne is a very attractive woman. Just sayin'.

* I already saw it on the previews but this dude was just making out with an old lady.

Pete's Car Wash IN WC Forces Man To Scream

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So on my last post the West Chester food blogger with the great hair that I love Kimmie - (and I'll be meeting her in real life soon) - said I should spend $3 and get my car washed. There's a $3 car wash right on Market Street in West Chester. It's called Pete's Car Wash.

And it's a perfect segway into the the real life picture that is me inside Pete's Car Wash in West Chester.

I'm not lying when I tell you that when I go through car washes sometimes I like to scream and act out like the huge things that slam down are like monsters tentacles. Like if it were a movie or something. I guess that if you're with a few people and you do it that it's pretty funny but some people might say that if you do it yourself that it's kind of weird. See - and some of you people thought I was really normal.

At least I keep myself amused.

Monday, March 30, 2009

After School Special. Dads Living In Hotels. Sad.

Did your Dad live in a downtown hotel? Mine didn't thank God. Because I did what I was told. But look at this kid from this After School Special. His Dad lived in a downtown hotel.

I wonder what he did that forced his parents to get divorced and live in a downtown hotel.

Probably something terrible. Too bad they probably don't love him anymore.

West Chester Man Gets Car Straight Bashed By Gang.

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(wiping away tear) This is very painful so I'll just come out with it. I've been straight bashed. The message above was written on my dirty car. It says, "Gay Pride". And I'm a straight man! You know me - I love the chicks!

First I thought it was my neighbor Calhoun but he would have had to actually walk eight houses down. And he rarely walks.

I was going to wipe it off but then I got lazy. I got a similar assault a few weeks ago. It was a cartoon drawing of a penis. I only wish this West Whiteland gang would have the courage to reach out to me and ask me to join because I love the idea of writing stuff on cars. And I have some really creative messages I'd like to share.

If you're reading this, please contact me. The only stipulation is that I need to be the leader of the gang.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Wizard of Oz Alternate Ending. Mad TV Funny Clip.

Has anyone ever seen this Wizard of Oz alternate ending from Mad TV? It's pretty funny. And if you ask me, the Cowardly Lion AND the Tin Man always seemed gay to me.

And the chick who's doing the Dorothy has that imitation down pat.

Solid Gold Dancers. 1980. Rashy Dancing With Emotion.

I wonder if this ever happened in 1980:

(yelling up steps to brother) "HURRY UP!!!! GET YOUR CUT OFF SHINY SHIRT ON AND GET DOWN HERE!! "


Squeegy Retarded

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Am I the only one that thinks Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley looks like a mongoloid? I'm not trying to be a jerk but just look. I've thought this for years. Maybe I'm just gifted or something.

I don't know.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Pork Chop Dinner and Recipe Shared With West Chester and World.

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Hi everyone. It's me, That Blue Yak's Dr Zibbs from West Chester, PA. And I'd like to share this simple meal with you. Come to think of it I don't feel like writing out the whole recipe but your local library has plenty of cookbooks so go there and do the work yourself. God some of you people are lazy.

I will tell you what you're looking at though. Pork chops with a garlic mushroom sauce. Twice baked potatoes (a bit burned on top but I like them like that). Fried green beans (in garlic butter). And applesauce.

This is a regular simple favorite here at Zibbs Central. And one thing I love to do is fry the green beans only for a bit so they stay nice and crunchy.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Earth, Wind and Fire. The Elements. Greetings From West Chester. Funk.

TFI Friggin F! First of all, you might notice that I've moved to a new level on my That Blue Yak domination of the blog world as Gwen pointed out. I have 200 followers (holds hand up and waves in a Miss America/Pope hybrid wave). Please - take a note from Gwen and make a big deal out of every milestone of mine.

And I'd like to send the Friday Send Off Song to these bloggers:

Kimmie - a West Chester blogger that I haven't met in person but she emailed me last week and I just couldn't make it. I want to meet her within the next few weeks. And not to creep her out but I actually walked by her house today and was going to take a picture and email it to her but I thought that might creep her out. (But imagine printing that out and framing it. It would be priceless).

Phat Momma - New commenter. Funny comment today. Check out her blog.

And the song is from Earth, Wind and Fire. For those that don't know me, I loves me some funk. Damn it I would grind the hell out of you to this song (chicks only). The song is "September". Yeah. You know this one. One of these days I'm going to get in a disguise and dance for you people because I swear to God you would love to see me dancing to this. I'm not kidding you.

Tom Hanks and His Acting. Thoughts From Dr Zibbs.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that Tom Hanks can't act?

Well, not that he can't act but whenever I see him acting, like in the commercial for Angels and Demons, all I think is, "Hey, there's actor Tom Hanks trying to act serious."

And I thought the same thing in that movie where he was in love with the volleyball but everyone thought it was a great performance. He's likable and all but serious acting? No thanks.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Catholic Church Confirmation And Random Thoughts From Chester County.

So I was in church last night in Chester County for my daughter's confirmation here in Chester County. I was a bit late and it was so packed that I had to stand at the back of the church. Note that I never go to church anymore but went every week of my life when I was forced to.

- When I arrived the video guy turned the camera toward me. It could have been my natural charisma and the light that was beaming on me as I stood framed in the doorway or that he thought Jesus finally returned. Or maybe he was focused on the holy water that was boiling next to me.

- I forgot how many MILFs go to church. And many straight from work and in their business suits. One of my favorite looks.

- Some lady was standing right behind me and singing way, way too loud. Totally trying to get attention. So to get back at her, I kept shifting my body so she couldn't see.

- The composer that turns prayers into songs should be fired. After a good old fashioned stoning.

- I was in a punch drunk mood and was trying not to laugh at several things including a 12 year old kid that walked down the aisle wearing his Dad's over sized shirt that was untucked and down to his knees. And at a little kid that was brought outside and he was making farting noises.

- One of the kids, as a confirmation sponsor had a nun. Show off.

- After the ceremony people flocked around the bishop. One lady went up and kissed him on the cheek. Are you kidding me?

- I pondered for at least 20 minutes how easily America let the Catholic Church off the hook for child abuse and pedophilia. Shouldn't more people have gone to jail?

What are your random thoughts about the Catholic Church?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Who Wants To Sleep With Me Into The Mystic? Van Morrison.

It's 10:35 Eastern time as I write this and I'm going to bed. And I'm going to put on some Van Morrison to listen to on my Ipod. I'll start with Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic".

I love that song.

Here's an idea. When you go to bed, hug a pillow and hum that song and pretend the pillow is me. It's OK. That's not cheating. Don't get all crazy though and draw a picture of me on the pillow with a Sharpie because that is cheating.

I'm sorry that I have to leave you but I have a huge day tomorrow which includes a big party at night. So I need to hit the hay. So here's a cover version of "Into the Mystic".


Some People Like To Savor My Blog. How Do YOU Read It?

A curious thing has been happening by my blog reader and blog friend Fancy Schmancy*. For the last several weeks, she's been commenting on That Blue Yak blogs posts that are over a week old. She's slowly catching up to the current posts.

My guess is that she's trying to savor all of the bloggy goodness. Like if you were deserted on an island and some Hershey Kisses or a case of Hop Devil washed up. You wouldn't consume everything all at once would you? Of course not.

What are your reading habits of my blog? Do you cry when you're done? - Wishing that there were more? And everyone stays out of your way because then you go into a rage? Do you read a bit and come back later for the rest? Or perhaps you read it then have someone read it back to you so you can really get your mind around the posts.

Given my huge readership, the odds are also very high that some families read it aloud as part of their routine. And perform scene studies if you will. Oh and I will. Dinner then Jeopardy then TBY reading. I'm glad to be such an important part of your family memories. I really am.

So please share with others some of your TBY reading rituals.

*Some of you may know her as Farty Four Eyes. And also, she's thinking about ending her blog. I hope she doesn't because I really like it. She had the courage to reach out to me via email months ago despite how intimidating it must have been given that I'm so famous and all. I mean...seriously, it's probably scary for anyone. Kind of like when the OZ gang had to walk up and see the Wizard. But she realized that I'm just like everyone else. Except much, much cooler.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Erotic Peaches Will Get You Everytime. Georgia Calendar Material.

I'm watching Alton Brown right now and he's talking about peaches. It is a pretty erotic fruit if you think about it. The shape of it with the crack area. The bit of fuzz. The juicy drip. And I love when they show chicks from Georgia wearing farm clothes and eating peaches.

I haven't had a peach in ages. I just forget to buy them. I love to annoy my wife sometimes by saying things like, "You know me and my peaches."

And she'll say, "I've never, ever heard you mention that you liked peaches ever!"

That's all for now but on a related subject, you can now follow me on Twitter AND I just wrote something about peaches that some of you may find fascinating.

Bloggers Gwen and Whiskey Marie May Have Been Kidnapped.

It's true. Two of my favorite bloggers in the whole wide world of the universe and neighboring countries Gwen and Whiskey Marie may have been kidnapped! As you may know, Gwen and Whiskey Marie have been blog friends for some time. This past weekend, WM flew to St Louis to meet Gwen in person and stay at her house. Can you imagine that greeting at the airport?

Why do I think they're kidnapped? Well I asked Gwen a few times to leave a message on my Snapvine recorder. She emailed me yesterday saying they were going to but didn't. Then, last night I received the horrifying message. (Click play on the Snapvine recorder located on my sidebar).

What is that garbled mess? I have no idea what they're saying. Is it a cry for help? The message is barely audible so I'm ruling out the kidnapper as someone that works at Radio Shack. I know, I know, that still leaves millions of suspects but it's a start.

And I think we can also rule out anyone that doesn't have access to a feather because they've obviously been tickle tortured by the sound of all that girlish giggling.

If someone could email me a transcript or post it in the comments section I'd apprectiate it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

How You Can Thank Me For All I've Done To Make Your Life Better. Shopping.

Look at all of the lives that I've changed with this blog. Including yours. Admit it.

Now there are some ads that I can't mention by contract on That Blue Yak but I can mention the Amazon ads over there on right. You see, if you click and don't buy I get nothing but if you click and then buy ANYTHING on Amazon I get a teensy tiny bit. And I deserve it.

So if you'd like to thank me - indirectly with money, please start your Amazon search here next time you need to buy something and I will appreciate it. You might want to tell all of your friends too. I'm worth it don't you think? Yeah. I am.

And whoever bought the Jesus lunchbox a few weeks ago thanks! Email me if it's you and I'll write a post about you. I appreciate it friend. And if it wasn't you don't email me and pretend it was you. I'll find out.

So by a show of hands, how many of you think you will use That Blue Yak as a portal for your Amazon buying? If your hand is not up, take a moment to reflect.

Yo Lambert! That Homemade Bad Company Jacket Looks Terrible.

There's nothing funnier to me than really bad art. Especially when the artist is really proud of their art but have no idea that it's a piece of shit.

When I was in 8th grade, this kid in my neighborhood tried to draw the Rock and Roll Fantasy album cover on his denim jackets. It was drawn with a black pen. Actually, I'm not sure if it was the cover or just his rendition. It said "Badco - Rock N Roll Fantasy" and showed some hanging dice.

And it was such a crappy drawing and he was so proud of it that I wish you could have seen it.

I picture him, sitting in his room, finishing up the art and holding it up to the mirror. Going back and adding some final touches. He spent so much time on it that he probably didn't even care how crappy it looked. The words were all scrunched up on the right hand side and smaller then the letters on the left. After all, it was Bad Company. It doesn't have to be perfect. This is rock and roll man.

I bet he's got some crookedly drawn tattoos today. Do you want to see the video and pretend you're walking down the street with me and making fun of his jacket? Well then click here.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Stewed Tomato and Cheesy Shrimp ala' Zibbs Recipe.

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Here's a cheesy dish I'll dub Stewed Tomato and Shrimp ala' Zibbs. Here's how to make it.
(serves 4 or one big fat guy)

4 onions
3 cans stewed tomato
salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, cayenne pepper
1 lb. shrimp
Chicken stock
Olive oil
Cheese. I used velveeta because it's all I had on hand.


- Heat skillet to medium high and add olive oil. Season shrimp then cook shrimp for about 1 minute per side. Remove from pan.
- Heat onions until translucent then lower heat to medium and add garlic.
- Add stewed tomatoes, mushrooms and about half cup of stock.
- Lower heat to simmer and cook for about 20 minutes or until shrimp is cooked.
- Add some of the velveeta and stir until nice and smooth. Cheese also thickens the dish so you may need to add a bit more stock if needed.

Velveeta is actually pretty good in this dish but don't use too much. I really only use velveeta as a back up cheese so use any cheese that melts well.

You can then serve this over pasta or rice. I also like to drip Tabasco over it.


Heart Magic Man. Using Magic To Be A Smart Ass.

Good morning blog world. Just finished a nice egg sandwich on this Sunday morning in West Chester, PA. What are you guys doing?

Look how foxy Ann Wilson from Heart looked back in 1976 singing Magic Man. I wonder if any girl ever dating me had a fight with her mom and yelled at her mom, "But he's a magic man momma!"

And how great would it have been if when I saw the mom the next time I planted something magic around the house right before I brought the daughter out on a date. Like maybe those magic metal rings that magicians try to link together.

Man I wish I had thought of that years ago.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Grease, Sid Caesar, Olivia Newton John And The Midnight Special.

So my friend The Child just called me up. He's home for his Dad's birthday. They're watching Grease and he just called me to see who the actor is who plays the coach (see the answer below).

In the mean time, watch this Grease clip "You're the One I Want". Man does Olivia Newton John look hot.

Trivia: Olivia Newton John is NOT the sister of Elton John.

Answer: Sid Caesar.

HoneyComb Hideout and Generic Cereals Making Me Sick.

Does the generic cereal industry have no pride? I'm not lying when I tell you that I just ate a bowl of Marshmallow Matey's. It's just a rip off of Lucky Charms. And I hate Lucky Charms so I have no idea why I even ate it.

Anyways, the character on the bag - yup bag - not box are two kangaroos. The mom kangaroo is wearing sunglasses and is "Cool Blue". The baby kangaroo is giving the OK hand motion and his name is "Little Oaty". I'm not making this up.

Here's a non generic cereal I also hate - Honeycombs. And even worse, the commercials for Honeycombs. Look at that crappy robot. What a joke. And that in your face acting is as insulting to me now as it was in the 80's. Jerks.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Obama Makes Retarded Comment On Leno. Retard Bowling.

So I guess everyone heard about the comment that Obama made about his bowling last night on Leno. He said his bowling skills were like the Special Olympics.

I knew his feelings about the retarded were going to come out. When I was at the White House a few weeks ago I snuck down to the bowling alley to smoke a bone and look at the sign that Obama had hanging in the alley:

White House Bowling Rules Concerning the Retarded

1) Do not dribble the balls. These are not basketballs. They're meant to be rolled.

2) Actually....no dribbling of any sort.

3) If the ball goes in the gutter and the retard rejoices, explain to him that a gutter ball doesn't count.

4) If a super human retard can read and he or she reads the name of the bowling machinery and asks, "Who's Brunswick?" Tell them Brunswick is a monster that lives behind the pins and will get them if they don't collect their trash when leaving the lanes.

5) When the retards put their fingers in the ball return and lose their fingers, please remove their fingers before leaving the lanes.

6) Yes, they are pretty shoes but they're rentals which means they're not for keeps. Uh....Come to think of it...keep the shoes.

And on this theme the Friday send off song is Corky from Life Goes on singing celebrate. I've played it before but it's so classic that it needs to be enjoyed again.

And it's dedicated to Prunella Jones. Her funny comments have been cracking me up all week.

Awesome Book Is Cooler Than The Bible Dude!

Look at this book. It's called "Anybody Can Be Cool ....But Awesome Takes Practice". It's a book that teaches teens to be "cool" through the teachings of Jesus.


We all know that being cool has nothing to do with the Lord Jesus Christ your personal savior. The only cool gods I've ever seen are me and that elephant with the multiple limbs. What's his name? He's Hindu or something? You know the one I'm talking about.

A reader sent me this link to the book and I had to post it*. Look at that cover. I bet the blond haired dude is saying something about being yourself and using a crazy bible story as an example. Sure looks like he's got the attention of his listeners.

When I was in third grade I got roped into going to a "meeting" by some chick in my class. It turns out that it was some freaky Christian cult. They had us doing fun stuff for a while then started talking about religion. And they were trying to make religion cool. Trying. Very hard. I was in third grade and still knew it was bullshit and was looking for a way to escape. I still ask my parents what they were thinking when they let me go to that thing.

They claim they don't remember. Surrrrrre.

*and you have to click on the link and see what some of the reviewers on Amazon wrote about this book. Classic.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ahhhh!! Don't Be Too Scared By This Video Babies. Underwear Change.

Except when it happens to me, one of the funniest things is when people pop out from somewhere and scare the crap out of people.

Here's a video compilation of people almost shitting their pants from being scared.

I May Stop Reading Your Crappy Blog. Knitting Suggestion.

I will get right to the point. I was talking to my blogger friend Falwless the other day and we were talking about how many crappy blogs there are. Honestly, there are some real boring blogs clogging up the world wide world of the internets. And one might be yours.

Now I'm not saying that all blogs have to be as great as mine. Or like mine. That would be impossible. You also need to find your own style. But take a look and ask yourself, "Should I end my blog and maybe find another hobby? Like knitting?" Be honest with yourselves. Step back and really take a look. And don't ask friends for help. They'll lie to you.

(Take 5 minutes for honest reflection then continue reading).

I'm just saying that personally, I'm reading way too many blogs and some of them are just terrible. Terrible boring waste of my time. And I feel guilty by not reading your blog so it might be easier for me if you just end it now. But please continue to read my blog. Which is one of the really good ones - as you know.

Also, if you have some great blogs that you can tell me about please - leave the name in the comments section. It might mean I'll stop reading your blog but thems the breaks.

On a related subject, don't think that just because I don't comment on your blog doesn't mean I'm not reading it. I've really cut back on commenting over the last few weeks. And there are some blogs that you would never guess I'm reading. Some of you have even said that you think your own blog is crappy but I still like it. But if you look within your heart and think it's really crappy, please stop. Just to be safe.

And to finalize my rambling about this, does anyone else go through their Google reader and sometimes just click through some of the unimportant blogs without reading them and you wonder why you don't just delete them once and for all? God I wish my heart wasn't so big!

And on the subject of blog, a really good one that I found recently is called Retro Space. To read it, click here.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Blogger Wisely Realizes That I'm Into Myself. Chestco Whores.

Many of you probably think that the only way to get my attention is to send me nude pics. If you're a non slob chick that's a very wise move.

But what about the dudes that want my attention?

Well you can take a lesson by doing what one of my favorite bloggers did here. He mentioned me. I love seeing TBY mentioned by bloggers. Maybe I'll even show up unannounced at your home. Who knows?

And on a side note, "Man I can't wait to get my THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE GOING."

Starkist Tuna Commecial Maybe Offensive To Dudes.

So on the subject of sandwiches, here's the old Starkist Tuna commercial. I'm more of a bumble bee tuna man but many of you know that I'm a Zippo lighter fan and there is a Charlie Tuna Zippo lighter.

If you can find one and buy one for me it's gonna set you back $200 - $300 but I will give you a coupon - suitable for framing - that states that you're a lifelong friend of mine.

So you'll have that going for you. Here's the commercial:

The Schmitter. McNally's Chestnut Hill PA Sandwich. Not Bad.

So last week I was in Chestnut Hill (PA) with some people and we ate at McNally's. There's a famous sandwich there called The Schmitter. It's actually a trademarked sandwich.

The ingredients are cheese, special sauce, grilled salami, more cheese. tomato, fried onion, steak and more cheese. The roll is a Kaiser.

To tell you the truth, it was pretty good but nothing to warrant a trademark and all the hype. Great roll. Cheese was like Velveeta.

I'm sure you're asking, "What are some of Dr Zibbs's favorite sandwiches?" Here are a few regional favorites:

- Italian Style Roast Pork (from DiNics at Reading Terminal in Philly). Long hots, sharp provolone and horseradish on top. This is my favorite sandwich on earth.

- Hand Carved Hot Roast Beef Sandwich on Kaiser. Provolone and and horseradish on top.

- Pulled Pork. Cole slaw on top. Various locations.

- Hot Pastrami Sandwich . Mmmm.

- Corn Beef Special - I've only had great ones in NYC.

I've invented a few of my own sandwiches but they're really just variations on regular sandwiches. I really should add that to one of my life goals after that cure for Lupus thing that I opened my big trap about.

So what other sandwiches should I add to my must try list?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Wiggles Gettin' All Hot Potato On Your Sorry Ass.

Happy Saint Pattie's Day - again. And speaking of the Irish, it reminds me of potatoes. Which brings me to this song by The Wiggles. Hot Potato.

My sister swears these dudes aren't gay but I'm not sure. The dancing sure looks pretty gay to me. So what's the deal with these dudes? My kids aren't really little so they don't watch this nonsense. I have to admit though that it's pretty catchy.

Except the person that cast the pirate that comes on a few seconds in should be fired. What an ass.

Saint Patties. Drinking. Holiday Theft. Face Punch.

As an Irishman, I've gotten used to the saying that, "everyone's Irish on Saint Patrick's Day".

I mean, I'm not going to start a fight with a non Irish person just because they're trying to steal my day but I'm also not going to sit back and let them pretend that it's OK that they can get bombed and pretend that they're Irish.

Because they're not.

So to be fair, I'm going to toss a potato onto a world map and ask that everyone harrasses the country folk that my spud lands on.

O.K. Here we go.....and throw...

The potato called it. It looks like it's the peoples of Trinidad and Tobago. So in all fairness, when you're out drinking at the bars today and you see someone from Trinidad and Tobago - start a fight with them. And when you're done kicking their ass, explain to them that it's nothing personal.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Elephant Woman Beauty Secrets. Nice Sack.

You always see the elephant men wearing burlap potato sackish bags to cover their horrifying faces but I can't for the life of me recall ever even seeing an elephant woman.

I wonder if this this ever happens in elephant woman households to help with their self esteem:

Mom: Ellie, how are you feeling today? Any better?

Ellie: I hate school. I feel like a freak.

Mom: Well I got something for you. (Pulls out fabric swatch book and sits on corner of bed). It's a book filled with pretty swatches. I thought we could look through the book and pick out a nice pattern for your burlap sack. Perhaps one with a cherry pattern? That would be cute - don't you think?

Ellie: You're the best mom! (starts to take sack off of head).

Mom: (covers eyes and looks away). ELLIE.THE SACK. PUT THE SACK BACK ON! Thank you.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Carpenters. Mental Institution Songs.

For some reason when I get really depressed or sad, songs that I remember from ages 4 - 9 make me feel better. The songs might be corny as hell, but I guess it brings me back to a time when I didn't worry about things.

And believe me - I spend way too much time over analyzing and worrying about things. I always think that if I were ever put into a mental institution, there are certain songs that they could play just to calm me down.

Here's one of them. "We've only Just Begun" by The Carpenters. Enjoy.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

My Blog Friends Might Need Special Section At My Funeral.

So tomorrow is Ken's funeral and it got me thinking. If I ever die - and that's a big if, I've just realized that my blog followers are going to want to attend my funeral.

I'm thinking once the funeral is about to start, an announcement can be made that there will be a slight delay. Then you freaks can enter the arena (because the crowds will be so large and I want nothing to do with a church).

I'm thinking that if everyone enters from different entrances it will make the most impact and create the most awe from my real life friends.

And I'm open to suggestions of funeral chants and merchandising so let me know. I'll also need at least 20 team leaders that will be responsible for organizing the masses.

99 Luft Balloons? 99 Luftballons? Bald And Fat And Old.

So a friend of mine is having a party tonight that's a mini college reunion of sorts. There are going to be some people I haven't seen in years. I'm looking forward to it. I'll be sure to point out to everyone that I haven't ballooned up and I have zero traces of baldness. Then when everyone gets uncomfortable, I'll say, "Oh I didn't mean you" while I shake my relatively thin ass and full head of hair over to the food. Just to be a dick.

I might have to tell the few friends that know about my blog to "keeeeeep cooooool"and keep their traps shut about my blog. I have a list of college stories I'll be posting soon and there are a few that I really don't want some people reading. Not that some of the people the stories are about will be at this party but you know how blabbermouths can be.

And there's one story in particular about an ultimate practical joke I did. If the person ever found out they may want to track me down for revenge.

And on the subject of balloons and college, here's a song that was popular at the time. 99 Luft Balloons by the hairy pitted Nena. One thing about the 80's and early videos - they were craptacular.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Death. Dave Clark Five. Toilet Overflow. Stories.

So I spent the whole day at my sister's house yesterday. As I mentioned, her husband died two days ago.

There were a lot of tears but also a lot of laughs. We were going through pictures and almost falling off chairs laughing at the great stories. Here's one of my favorite stories of my brother -in- law Ken:

"Remember when you first started dating Ken and he clogged up the toilet? That was hysterical. Ken clogs up the toilet - it's midnight and I'm in the pool with a couple of friends. So I had to go wake up Dad. 'Dad, the toilet's overflowing and it's leaking on your desk (in the basement)'".

I mean water is flowing! He's in his robe and doesn't give a crap that we all have friends over.

"Damn it! I told you and Michael if you have to take a dump to use the upstairs toilet!"

It's a code red so everyone just knows that all of our friends should just leave.

And do you know what? Ken kept coming back to our house after that. It didn't bother him at all. He eventually married my sister and we harassed him about this story for years.

So the Friday Send Off song goes out to Ken. In case you're reading this. It's The Dave Clark Five. Bits and Pieces. A band that came up in conversation with him over the years.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Life Is Short

So I got a phone call this morning with the news that my brother-in-law died. He was 49. He was a perfectly healthy person a few years ago until they found and removed a brain tumor from him.

My sister had to retire to care for him. And she never, ever complained about it. They have one daughter who was about 5 when he was diagnosed with the brain tumor so she always knew him as someone that had been sick and not 100% there.

The amazing thing is that even though he would forget things like thinking he was at work earlier that day - or that he had just talked to his dad who had died years earlier- he someone never lost his dry sense of humor.

So I'm off this morning to see my sister and niece.

Life is short. Don't waste it.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Cheap Trick. Philly Concerts.The Spectrum. Surrender Lyrics.

Cheap Trick was my first concert. I saw them in the Summer between 8th and 9th grade at the Spectrum in Philly with my buddy Flare. I still love the song Surrender.

I was thinking about Cheap Trick because they're touring with Def Leppard and Poison this Summer. I was never a fan of Def Leppard or Poison but since it's a three bill concert, each band will only be playing their greatest hits so it might be worth seeing.

Very interesting lyrics if I do say so myself. To watch the video, click here. But you might want to read the lyrics first in case you're not familiar with them. Or treat yourself and sing along!

Mother told me, yes, she told me I'd meet girls like you
She also told me, "Stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch"
Just the other day I heard a soldier falling off some Indonesian junk that's going round

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away

Father says, "Your mother's right, she's really up on things"
"Before we married, Mommy served in the WACS in the Philippines"
Now, I had heard the WACS recruited old maids for the war
But mommy isn't one of those, I've known her all these years

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away

Whatever happened to all this season's losers of the year?
Ev'ry time I got to thinking, where'd they disappear?
When I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch
Rolling numbers, rock and rolling, got my Kiss records out

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away

P.S. I love how the drummer looks like an accountant.

5 Things I Love and 5 Things I Hate.

Here are 5 things I love followed by 5 things I hate.


1) Onions - I couldn't imagine cooking without them.

2) Dining/drinking Alfresco - there's nothing I love more than having a few drinks while watching people. I seriously love this.

3) Traveler dress shirts from Jos A Bank. Best everyday dress shirts ever.

4) The wind - nothing better than a warm day and the winds blowing. For some reason it gives me a calming feeling.

5) My vegetable garden - I expand my "The That Blue Yak Garden of Hope" every year. I can't wait to get it going this year. Lettuce will be first in there.


1) Canned beets -the smell of them can make me puke. I haven't had them since I was a kid.

2) Paying for greeting cards - I've been having my kids make their own greeting cards for years. And everyone loves them a lot better than some of the crappy cards that kids usually give to people.

3) People that don't look me in the eye.

4) Brian Secrest -Other than him being able to speak clearly, I don't understand the appeal.

5) Women that talk non stop about their kids. Telling people every detail. Give it a break will you? Nobody cares.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Willie Wonka, Smoking Weed, Gene Wilder And Film.

How many people in their younger days watched a movie or TV show while stoned and said, "Oh they had to be stoned while making this. Holy Shit! They HAD to be stoned."

Then, when you're not high, you realize, nobody was high during the filming. It was you that was high you lightweight. Keep it up and I'm gonna put the "magic box" on your stoned ass and you're gonna freak.

But then you watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and you really question what I just said above. Someone at least was smoking some weed - possibly tripping during the writing or directing of this scene where Gene Wilder goes through the tunnel*. Here it is:

*I know that they were smoking weed during Easy Rider and Caddyshack had tons of coke on set. Maybe some of my movie buff readers like Earl or Words, Words, Words can let us know what other movies were heavily drug influenced during filming.

My Heart Just Stopped. Qualities I Like In Women.

Have you ever seen someone and then they start talking and you instantly have a crush on them?

Believe it or not, the typical blond hair big boob chick is not my type. I actually get annoyed when everyone thinks a chick is hot because they've got a hot body. Here are a few things that I'm a sucker for:

- Large, doe-like eyes. And they have to be expressive.

- A smile that lights up the whole face. Not many people have this.

- Laughs at my jokes.

- Curvy with a nice butt.

- Flirty personality.

- Has some type of underlying sweetness in their soul.

And speaking of some of those qualities, here's a blogger that took my breath away not only by her beauty but just the way she talks. Remember how I said I could be a casting director? Tell me this blogger doesn't have star quality. If I ever met her, I think I'd have an instant connection. To see her, click here.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Wine Making Turns Into Hysterical Fall. Breath Knocked Out.

Are all you other gay blades watching Dancing with the Stars like me right now? Well here's a short clip to watch at the commercial break. It's a news anchor smashing grapes then something goes horribly wrong. She falls off the platform and gets the air knocked out of her.

Her groans are hilaaaaaaarious.

Dude With Long Nose Hair Repulses Chester County Blogger.

Oh yeah. I just remembered this. I was at this formal event last week. I'm mingling around with my red wine talking to people - things are going well. I approach someone I haven't seen in a while. I say hi and he introduces me to the guy he's talking to.

I turn my head to look at the guy and this dude* has two manes of nose hairs coming out of his beak. I'm talking nose hairs at least a half inch long. How the hell does someone look in the mirror and not realize that something has to be done?

Doesn't this guy wonder why everyone is looking at his nostrils?

There's no excuse for this. I seriously need to know - why do you think some dudes refuse to trim their nose hairs? Do you think they don't care? I bet some don't trim because they think using a nose clipper would be too feminine. Maybe they think the ladies don't care.

And one more thing to add. Do you see that finger nose hair clipper above? That's a real product. And for all the weird stuff I buy simply because it's weird and funny -that finger nose hair clipper is even over the top for me.

* If by the rare chance you were at an event last week in Chester County and you look like Ed Begley Jr., It's you that I'm talking about here. Do everyone a favor and clean yourself up. Jesus Christ.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Members Only Jacket. No Thanks Anthony Geary. I Don't Want To Join That Club.

The Members Only jacket. Yeah that was real style. Here's General Hospital's Anthony Geary (Luke), hawking it in 1982.

What a fool. I love his "I'm too cool for you" attitude. He's another one I'm going to push down a flight of stairs if we ever meet.

Three's Company Plus The Shining Equals Wacky Fun. The Mashup.

I love me some video mashups from the Youtube.

(Me talking like Casey Kasem): What if you took The Zany Three's Company song and mashed it up with the cast of characters from The Shining? Let's take a look. Coming in at number four this week, here's The Shining Mashup.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Hee Haw. Johnny Cash. Backward Country Folk On TV.

When I was growing up and Hee Haw came on the TV, I would literally dive to turn the channel. Frankly, it sickened me. I wanted nothing to do with those hicks and their Country music or down on the farm "comedy".

But I just watched this Hee Haw clip and I was laughing. Laughing at how stupid it is but I was still laughing none the less. I kind of like the simplicity of the jokes. I wish there were video of the writers working on these bits. Now that would be really entertaining.

So check out this hokey clip which includes Johnny Cash*. And have a great Saturday night.

* For the record - I love Johnny Cash.

Philly Beer Week. Beer Calendar. Chester County. This Weekend.

So March 6 - March 15 is Philly Beer Week. There are 693 events in Philly and the surrounding suburbs. I'm probably not going to be able to make it to all 693 events but I will make it to something.

If you take a look at my Amazon ads on the side bar I just put up the Joe Six Pack's Philly Beer Guide. Buy it from me and I'll get a tiny bit of the money. It's your way of saying thanks to me for writing this amazing blog. I'll also put you on the list of people I won't kick in the nuts when I meet you for being a glommer who reads my blog and doesn't pay me by buying shit. And while I'm on the subject, my blog reports are showing a slight dip on people that kiss my ass in the comments section. I don't want to have to mention this again.

And onto the subject of beer. If you ever meet me, three beers that you can buy me that I'll never turn down are Guinness, Corona (I know - boring but refreshing) and Victory Beer's Hop Devil. Write yourself a note so you remember.

And here are a few local beer links: Seen Through a Glass and West Chester Beer Consortium

What are your go-to beers?

Chester County Crows Probably Up To Something. Where Are My Hawks?

So I'm looking out my window here in West Whiteland Township (PA) and there are a bunch of crows. They're sitting like jerks on a leafless tree. And do you know what? They're probably plotting to make sure the red tailed hawks that are about to nest stay out of the area.

Last year, we had about 7 red-tailed hawks in our neighborhood and it was great. Once in a while, one of the hawks would grab a baby crow and the crows would battle it. Last Summer there was one time that there were at least 40 crows battling a hawk. And the hawks kept screeching for help and other crows were flying in from all directions.

It was pretty amazing to see. And there's also nothing more amazing then seeing a red-tailed hawk swoop down and grab a squirrel - my personal animal arch enemy.

Anyway. I'm hoping the hawks come back. I might have to harass the crows when I'm in the yard today. You know - like throw a rock at them, shake my fist and give them the evil eye.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Journey Remake Video. Separate Ways. What The?

Here's a video that the blogger Words, Words, Words sent me. It's a remake of the already crappy video "Separate Ways" by the "as crappy as REO Speedwagon group" Journey. It's cheese-alicious".


Just An Old Fashioned Love Song. TV And Movie Love Birds.

..And speaking of Paul Williams, he did write "(Just an Old ) Fashioned Love Song". Three Dog Night covered it.

Here's a clip that someone put on Youtube using the song and put in video clips of TV and movie couples in love. And this Friday Send Off Song goes out to Fawless. Who actually left a comment on my blog today and she wrote a post. Man and I wish she would start blogging again. If you're out there Fawl - give me a sign.

190 followers strong.

Paul Williams The Singer and Actor. Never Forget.

Hmmm. You don't hear too much about Paul Williams these days.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Monkees Mania Machine. Pretty Impressive Manufacturing.

So I was watching the Monkees bio on The Biography Channel last night and if you think about it, it's pretty amazing. "Let's get a bunch of nobody kids, and have them kind of imitate The Beatles. And we'll then we'll make a series and we'll have lots of slapstick. Oh yeah - and we'll just get a bunch of song writers to write the songs."

On paper this sounds like a recipe for disaster but do you know what? It worked. How did that happen? And I'm not saying that they're the best group ever but it's pretty amazing that this was a manufactured group and that the music still holds up.

To hear "I'm a Believer", click here.

My favorite song is probably "I'm Not Your Steppin" Stone". But I love when anyone does that song - especially Paul Revere and The Raiders. To hear that version, click here.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Blogger Shows Video To Explain Eagle Dream.

Remember the other day when I was telling you about the dream I had and I was hanging out with these giant eagles? Well check this out:

OK, did you see that goat that the eagle picked up? Now look at that goat's head. That's the size of ME in the dream - compared to the eagle. I told you it was a weird dream.

I'm serious.

Verizon Fios Red Headed Actor Guy. I Predict Fame.

Are you guys getting the Verizon Fios commercials all the time like we are here in the nicer areas of PA? Like in the hillbilly and backwoods regions* - have you guys seen this commercial with the red headed chubby dude? To see the commercial click here.

I think I could be a talent scout because this guy is really great. He's got such a perfect deadpan delivery. I'm predicting he's going to end up on a sitcom. I have no idea what his background is but I'm just sayin'. I should be a star maker. You wait.

And while on on the subject, the guy in that commercial that you're supposed to like? What a dill weed.

*And do any of you hillbilly people still have telegraph poles in your region? Don't be ashamed. I'm just curious. And not to sound elitist, but just a friendly reminder to the hillbilly readers - don't forget to go to a dentist. I'm not judging - I'm just trying to help you out.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

And Then There's Maude. There. Right Over There.

So the theme to Maude popped into my head earlier today. I have no idea why.

So I looked on the Youtube and look at these two dudes in the shower singing the theme to Maude. It's kind of funny. In a stupid way.

Post About Eagles That Scope Reminded Me I Didn't Title.

So I'm watching Anthony Bourdian the other night and the show was about Egypt. Did you know that some people keep their animals on their roofs? It's pretty common in parts of the world. You go to the family roof top and they have their chickens, goats and other animals.

Well then I had a dream that I was climbing up this huge mountain top. At the top there was a tiny house and on the roof there were animals. But here's the weird thing. There were giant eagles.. Their wing spans were over a hundred feet long. And they were talking to me. It was actually like being in heaven or something (as seen on TV) because their wings were like angels. It was pretty comforting and they were very wise.

Then all of a sudden, the one says, "I'll be right back." He takes off and flies into this huge flock of pigeons with his mouth open - eating them as he flew.

It was pretty cool. I wonder what that dream means

Monday, March 2, 2009

Snow In Chester County Reminds Blogger Of Funny Blog Post About Dead Dude.

Looking at the snow today reminded me of the heat. And reminded me of the heat reminded me of this one post I wrote during a recent heat wave. And THAT reminded me of how great it is when you write a post then you look at it later and it's funnier than when you wrote it.

So if you want to read something I wrote that was just cracking my ass up, click here.

Mrs Mike's In West Chester. Hash Browns and Eggs.

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Mmmmm. Here's a picture of some diner food at Mrs. Mike's in West Chester. This is usually my breakfast when I go out. Two eggs scrambled, hash browns, white toast and side of sausage.

My biggest complaint at most breakfast places is when they don't have good hash browns. I love the hash browns at Mrs. Mikes. You can't tell from the picture but the hash browns are nice and crunchy. And in case you're curious, I usually add ketchup on top of the eggs and hash browns and strawberry jelly on the toast.

And ten points for the reader that can reference the quote about whether I like sausage patties or links.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

PA Snow Forecast Ruins Roller Boogie Day For Blogger. Roller Skating Onlookers In Tears.

Stupid PA weather forecast calling for snow in PA today. I was totally going to put on a shiny 70's shirt, rainbow suspenders and fedora, lace up my roller skates* and go for some Roller Boogie style laps around my neighborhood today.

And it stinks too because I have a really cool move I was thinking about unveiling. I pictured me roller skating by a neighbor who's out getting their Sunday newspaper, then when they said hi to me I was gonna pull a comb out of my skate, do one comb of my hair, give a wink and say, "Great day for a little Roller B." Then I'd do a mini jump and keep skating my cool ass down the road.

It would have been total love on wheels. Oh well. Either way, enjoy this trailer from the Linda Blair movie "Roller Boogie":

*And for the locals, how many of you went to Spinning Wheels or Caln Roller Rink back in the day? Maybe we skated together. Maybe I even offered to buy you a hot dog or pretzel after we skated. And you said no. Stuck up bitch. You could have been the famous Mrs. Zibbs if you had played your cards right. Instead, you're stuck with that no good slob sitting over there on your couch. Go ahead - give him a kick. Maybe it'll make you feel better for the bad decision you made years ago.