Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Very Tenacious Halloween. David Grohl. The Devil. Rocket Sauce.

I think we can agree that one of the scariest things is the devil. And the food at Friendly's. And The Wheel of Fortune. And the chick from the Progressive commercial.

So here's a video to celebrate the spooky holiday of Halloween. I give you... Tenacious D having a rock off with the devil (played by Foo Fighter's Dave Grohl).

Enjoy your rocket sauce.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Weird Dream I Had Last Night That Featured Dwarfs.

Here's a real dream that I had last night:

I was in a huge department store and I was sitting at a dining room table. I fell asleep and a sales girl woke me up and said, "Sir, you're going to have to leave, we're closing."

I had been asleep for 12 hours. So as I'm walking through the living room furniture section, there's a snobby ass family using the area for a family portrait. I walk right in front of the camera and dad looks at me like I'm a jerk.

So I leave the building and I'm lost so I see a group of people and I decide to follow them. As I get closer, it's a group of drunk German dwarfs (guys). They're all wearing spiked high heels and singing songs.

I stopped following them because I got the feeling they were going to jump me.

What the hell does that mean?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Does This Make Me Weird? Dodo Birds and Tap Dancing.

Sometimes I get these urges. Urges to approach strangers and do or say something weird. Well, they're not really urges. I just think about the stuff to amuse myself if I'm out somewhere and I'm bored.

Like there's an old lady walking down the street and I just angrily approach her, stare her down, then start violently tap dancing. Maybe in circles. Or maybe back and forth to block her way. Then I say, "Yeah..uh huh..that's right" (as if she knows what I'm talking about)..then I hug her and walk away.

Or I approach a random stranger and say, "YOU are going the way of the Dodo."

Then I see someone behind them, "No YOU are going the way of the Dodo." And I push the first fellow out of the way.

And I keep saying it to different people. Until I run out of people. Then maybe I start over. I'm not sure yet.

I think if it were captured on film it could make a great TV show. I would just love to see the reactions on the faces of these poor sad sacks.

Does anyone else ever want to approach strangers and do this or is it just me? Come on..don't lie.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

World Series. Phillies. One Flew Over Cuckoo Classic Scene.

Is everyone watching the World Series? It just started. And my prediction is that the Phillies will win in five.

So when it's the commercial, check out this scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest when Jack Nicholson's character is trying to get enough votes to watch the World Series. If you don't get goosebumps watching this then you're dead.

This is on my top 10 favorite movies of all time. How can you look at this scene and not love this movie. Jesus.

Women That Have Sex Appeal & Women That Don't. Cheryl Hines & More.

Here are some women that people think are beautiful but they do absolutely nothing for me. They have no sex appeal.

Christie Brinkley
Julie Roberts
Jennifer Garner
Courtney Cox

Then there are women that necessarily wouldn't be considered drop dead gorgeous but I think are really sexy. And do you know what it is too? Their personalities. The women above are complete bores and the women below have sparkling personalities. I guess that's it. And they are:

Cheryl Hines (Larry David's wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm)

Hilary Swank

Amanda Bynes

I'm sure I'll think of more so make sure to check the comments section every half hour or so.

So who's on your list?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Bet This Scares The Hell Out Of You. Devil Stuff. Exorcist 3.

So my new good Blog/Twitter friend Kristen left a link to this post from the Exorcist 3 in the comments section of TBY.

Now for you babies and people with heart conditions, I don't think you should watch the clip because you may start crying or you may die. From heart failure. After you cry.

And it brings me to this question. How can someone NOT be into horror movies? I think the people that aren't are just babies*. Except for people that aren't into movies like Saw which are just junky, gore porn nonsense.

So here you go. Tell me if it scares you:

*i.e. pussies

BREAKING NEWS: Bloggers That Meet On My Blog Get Engaged. No Lie!

Some of my non-blogging friends think that blogging is stupid. "What's to come of it?" they say...

Well I'm proud to announce that two bloggers that have admitted they met in the comments section of my blog have gotten engaged*. I'm not kidding.

Many of my regular readers know them. It's Scope and Cora. But for those that don't know the story, they admitted to meeting in my comments section, then they started dating. Scope lives in Illinois and Cora's on the West coast so it was a bit of a long distance relationship. They've blogged often about their relationship.

So they JUST got engaged. Here's the video when Scope pops the question:

*I wonder if anyone ever got pregnant from reading my blog? Who know?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Horror Movie That You Need To See. Hills Have Eyes. Mutants.

When it comes to horror movies, do you know what REALLY freaks me out? It's not ghosts or serial killers or Larry King.

(yelling from the back): Is it Devil stuff? I bet it's devil stuff.

That might be near the top of the list but what really gets me are deformed mutants. That and mental institution patients. And no better place to see them than in the remake of The Hills Have Eyes.

I'm telling you it's pretty freaky. So what horror movies do you love?

(Here's the trailer. Warning: the trailer's not that scary)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Crescent Mummy Dogs. Uhh..Nice Try. Halloween Hell.

So I'm flipping through the coupon section of the paper this morning and I see the picture for Crescent Mummy Dogs. You can make them using hot dogs and Pillsbury Crescent Rolls. Here's the picture:

Kind of cute but a bit disturbing on so many levels.

So I'm looking for an image online for the Crescent Mummy Dogs and it seems that a blogger ATTEMPTED to make them.

I hope you're sitting down for this. Here's how they turned out:

WHAT THE HELL? Jesus Christ! Did they get in a fight with a rival crescent mummy gang?

And the funny thing is that the person shows the picture and posts the recipe but they don't say, "OK, this is really not how they're supposed to turn out" or "So my son looked at them, started crying and said 'This is not what the Mummy Dogs are supposed to look like..they're..they're.. DEFORMED!'"

I mean..come on. Just look at them.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Whitest Thing Ever. Lawrence Welk and Mickey Mouse Mambo.

I wonder if on the Lawrence Welk show, they ever said,

"Cut! CUT!...You people are way to rock and roll, you're way too negro and you're way too straight! I need this dance to be Lawrence Welky, white and GAY!..NOW HIT IT!...

..and then this was the result. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Mickey Mouse Mambo.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Nicholas Brothers. Transient Osteoporosis And Pain.

My leg has been killing me. I've been limping around for a month. So I got an MRI today and the doctor said I probably have this rare disease called Transient Osteoporosis. It's a rare disease that effects men 30 - 60 years old and women in their 3rd trimester of pregnancy.

How random is that?

The good news is that it will cure itself. The bad news is that it could take a year and I'm in major pain. AND I can't exercise while I have it. AND I have to be on crutches or walk with a cane for at least a month. This sucks.

I guess I won't be dancing like the Nicholas Bothers for a while:

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Beautiful Blogger Gives Shout Out To ME..Dr Zibbs. The Youtube.

Awwww. I really wish I could meet ~E in real life. Maybe I will someday. If you've been reading my blog for a while you know ~E. She's the really smart and cool blogger from the blog E-Deconstructed. Oh yeah and she's super hot too.

And even though I asked her to mention me, it still counts. Yup, I looked at the blog rule does count. So go check out her blog. Thanks ~E.

And by the way, anyone who mentions THAT BLUE YAK or DR ZIBBS in a video post in the next 30 days will get the video posted here..on TBY. Go ahead. Do it. You know you want to.

TBY Now Has Search Function. Exton. Ron Howard's Brother.

Check it out on my sidebar. TBY now has a search function. I've been blogging since Dec of 2006 so for me it's great because I can now search for various posts that I've written instead of using a regular Google search.

But YOU the reader are allowed to use it too. I'm not kidding. You can search words and phrases like:

"West Chester" or "Ron Howard's Brother" or "nude"... then., like magic, you can read what I've written on those topics.

Go ahead. Put your Vasco Da Gama hat on and explore. Share with us what you've found by telling us in the comments area. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Never Got My Gorilla Outfit. Cabdury Commercial. Phil Collins.

When I was a kid I always wanted a really good gorilla outfit. Not the really crappy ones that you would see on low budget TV shows. I always wanted a REALLY good one that looked real. I'm not kidding.

I always thought that if I had one I'd be able to do one of the best gorilla imitations ever.* Sadly, that day never came.

But on the gorilla subject, check out this gorilla playing drums to Phil Collins in this Cadbury commercial. I think he over does it a bit but....

*I did however have the pleasure of getting in an Easter Bunny outfit two years ago and I'm telling costume pantomime was on the level of the Phillies Phanatic. I'm not kidding you.

Do You Believe In Ghosts? The Fourth Kind. Lenape Park.

So I just got a call from my friend Larry. I went to high school with him. He was always a bit of an exaggerator. So when he told us that he was lying in his bed one night and he was elevated off of the bed by what he believed were aliens, we of course, never let him live it down.

But he SWORE it was true.

So he called me to ask me if I saw the movie poster for The Fourth Kind*, because he said he just saw it and it reminded him of when he was lifted off of the bed. He still claims it happened.

I've got to tell you that I'm a skeptical of most things. I don't believe in gods, aliens or ghosts. Well, there might be aliens but I don't think they ever visited earth.

People ask,"how do you explain......?" I don't. There are a lot of unexplained things and that's just what they are. Unexplained. As my brother once said, "I don't know how they saw a woman in half but that doesn't make it magic."

Probably the weirdest unexplained thing that happened to me was an event when I was in high school. I was on a deserted back road near Lenape Park. The nickname of the place was Paradise. (Are you scared yet?) It was myself, a friend and two girls. So we're sitting on the hood of the car drinking beers and a car pulls onto the road and stops about 50 yards from us. We immediately hid the beers and waited because this was pretty much a deserted road and hardly anyone ever drove on it.

So we're watching to see what the person is going to do. The headlights remain on but the car engine is turned off. After about 10 minutes, we decide to walk up and see what the hell is going on. Maybe it was a friend.

So we approach the car, it's not a car we recognize. We look in and nobody is in the car! How could this be? We were watching it since it pulled in and we didn't see anybody get out. Even if we didn't see them get out, we would have heard them. On the left of the car was an embankment. On the right was a huge drop, then train tracks. So there was really nowhere the person could have gone.


So we ran like hell back to our car and got the hell out of there. Never to learn what it was all about.

So let's hear it. Does anyone have a weird encounter with a ghost, alien or god?

*The movie does look pretty awesome though.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A Few Blogs To Check Out. West Chester Blogger. Chester County.

I kind of feel like the golden age of blogging is over. It seems like a lot of the bloggers that used to visit and leave comments on my blog have stopped blogging.

There are also so many blogs out there that are so boring that I can't believe people write them. It's even more amazing when you see that they have a huge following. It's mostly those "Mommy blogs". You mean little Sally said something cute? I don't believe you. Please tell me every detail and explain it as if she just solved the riddle of time*.

The best thing about reading someone's blog over time and reading the comments that they leave is that you really get to know the person. People that don't blog really don't understand it and they just roll their eyes when you try to explain it.

Here are a few blogs I'd like to mention:

Son of a Thomas - Chester County blogger that's been following TBY for a long time. Wish he would blog more. Met him a few times. We still need to have lunch again soon. Bubble up.

Skylers Dad - Funny ass commentor. Never met him but long time TBY follower. I'm sure we'd be good friends if we met. King of finding crappy tattoos.

Caffeine Court - Never met in person but it turns out we went to rival high schools. We've discovered though emailing that we know some of the same people. She's also a great Twitter friend. I think she wants to go to the Whiteland Town Center with me and pretend it's the old Exton Drive-In. (P.S. I had a dream about her last week).

And for someone new:

Enough Hats For Everyone Kristen. We found each other recently on Twitter. She's got a great sense of humor and just recently just started blogging. Very interesting take on things. Always great to find funny and interesting people. And she's into horror movies like me.

So go check out their blogs, follow them and tell them Zibbs sent you.

*Wait. Is there a riddle of time? I don't know. There probably is.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Kimba Calms My Nerves. It's Like Rosebud. Crazy.

Does anyone remember Kimba the White Lion? It was a cartoon from days of old.

When I play this, it really brings me back to a time when I never had any worries. When I was four. It just calms me. If I ever become a mental patient maybe they should play this song on a loop in my room. That and the Carpenters.

If you're over four and reading this blog I'm afraid to tell you that after the age of four....your life will be filled with worry. Sorry to break the news to you.

The good news is that there's always the Kimba song. Enjoy.

Did Doctor Do Something Wrong When Allowing Me To Swab For Flu?

So I finally got out of the house on Sunday after being sick. My wife and I were having breakfast and we're talking about the swab test for the Swine Flu and I told her how it was weird putting the swab up my nose.

Wife: YOU swabbed yourself? The DOCTOR is supposed to do that.

Me: She is?

Wife: Yeah. Don't you think it's weird that she had YOU do it? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!

My wife had gone online and had researched the whole swab procudure which is pretty detailed. The method I did was basically put the swab a bit up my nose and wiggle it.

So when the office called last Tuesday night and said the test was negative, I questioned it?

"How can I NOT have the Swine flu? I just got the regular flu shot 2 weeks ago so it can't be that. AND I'm sicker than I've been in my adult life."

They said that the test results often come back negative but "You probably have the Swine flu."

You think so?

I'm pretty glad they didn't have to shove the huge swab in my nose and to the back of my throat but it makes me concerned as to whether my doctor is competant. (It was actually my substitute doctor as my regular doctor was out with the flu).

To see how you're supposed to be swabbed click here.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Guess Who's 83 Today? My Man Chuck Berry. Reelin and Rockin.

Chuck Berry is 83 today! What an icon.

Here he is from 1972 doing Reelin and Rockin. Now you can't tell me he doesn't rock. Look at him go!

And look what he does at 1:04 when he realizes that he's thirsty.

Now that was classic.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Things I Watched On TV Whilst Sick. Cougar Town. Roll Bounce.

You'd think that being sick is fun because you get to lounge and watch TV all day and night. But it's not. The first two days I could barely look at the TV.

Here are a few things I watched:

Roll Bounce - This is a 2005 movie about kids in the 70's that compete in a disco roller skating competition. And guess what? It was actually a pretty charming and funny, coming of age movie. AND they roller boogie to Kool and the Gang's Hollywood Swingin' - one of my favorite funk songs.

Cougar Town - OK. I know I said that this was unwatchable 2 weeks ago but I watched it again and I laughed out loud at least 6 or 7 times. (thanks to the writers) I still think it was bad casting to have Courtney Cox as the main character though. For how good looking she is, she has zero sex appeal. And since when are cougars supposed to have low self esteem? Huh?

Let's Make A Deal - Did you know that this is back on the air with Wayne Brady as the host? Who knew? And if anyone has seen it, don't you think the people in the audience are given access to costumes before the show? I think they are.

Apocalypse Now Redux - I haven't seen AN in years. Sitting through the entire movie I realized that it's one of the most boring movies of all time. There are some really great scenes and the acting is great but it's God awful boring.

That's it for now.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I'm Almost Better! Fever. Muppets and Rita Moreno.

As I mentioned Monday, I wasn't feeling good. Well, I was in bed the entire week. I've been sitting on my couch for a half hour - the longest I've been out of bed all week.

Did anyone think I had died?

I really need to write a final post just in case something would ever happen to me.

Anyways. Here's Rita Moreno and Animal doing Fever:

Monday, October 12, 2009

Swine Flu. I'm Too Awesome To Get It. Chester County.

So I did the right thing two weeks ago. I got a flu shot. But my son wakes up yesterday and he has the full blown flu. The doctor won't even see him because so many people in Chester County have it. But the nurse suspects that it's the Swine Flu. Hmmm.

The good news: if it's the regular flu I won't get it. The bad news: if it's the Swine Flu I could get it. And here comes the kicker..(get ready to start feeling sorry for me).. I woke up today with flu-like symptoms. I feel like crap. Weak. Chills. Flu feelings.

What I'm trying to say is, please say a prayer for me. To make sure the prayer is more effective, please pray that someone ELSE gets the flu other than me. Maybe someone in your office that you hate*. Otherwise, God will probably ignore you.

*Feel free to leave their name in case God is just skimming through prayers. The actual name will give it a better chance.


Saturday, October 10, 2009

Clash. London Calling Jimmy Jazz. Punk Songs.

Does anyone listen to WXPN? It's a alternative Philly station but it's also played in other markets.

Anyways, they're going to be featuring punk music all month long. Sweet.

I think I'll write a post and list my favorite albums of all time but I'll let you know one of them now. The Clash's London Calling. It came out when I was in 9th grade and I can still listen to every song today and love it. Of course back in the day I had it on vinyl and on cassette tape. Crappy, scratchy, gets eaten by your cassette player cassette tape.

And of course I had my trusty cassette tape carrying case. Remember those things? I just threw mine out a few years ago. It was hard to let go.

So in memorial of my cassette tape case, lets celebrate by listening to The Clash doing Jimmy Jazz live. Crank it up beotch!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Blowing Up The Moon - Mr Show. Bomb The Moon.

So you heard that we're going to bomb the moon right?

Here's the Mr Show clip that they did years ago about blowing up the moon.

Man was that a great show*.

* and look at friends of TBY Paul F Tomkins and Sarah Silverman.

Bates Motel, Spook Houses In Chester County PA. Scary.

So it's Halloween month. And I'll tell you what I'll be doing - going to the Bates Motel Haunted Hayride. If you live anywhere near Chester County Pa you should check this place out.

I've always loved spook houses and haunted hayrides but to tell you the truth, most are pretty lame. A few year back they had this one attraction that was so horrifying that you're not going to believe it.

You come through the woods and there's a guy that's had his arms chained to a tree stump. He's screaming for help. So of course a maniac comes out of nowhere with a chainsaw and approaches him. He's screaming his lungs off as the chainsaw maniac "cuts off" his arms. Now the kicker is...


They used a real amputee to play the guy that was having his arms cut off! So he's screaming then he runs up to us screaming, "MY ARMS! HE CUT OFF MY ARMS!..GIVE ME "YOUR" ARMS"! as he's shoving his bloody stumps in the faces of people.

Let me tell you that it was not only frightening but also really disturbing. AND, since I have a phobia of amputees (and sometimes retarded people if they approach me) I have to admit I was pretty scared.

I wonder how many were scarred for life?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Lady Attacked By A Raccoon. What The?

What the? Some 74 old lady was attacked by a pack of raccoons in Florida. (See story here)

This is the story I heard this morning when I woke up and turned on The Today Show.

Now the reality is pretty horrifying and maybe you'll think I'm a mean person but it had me cracking up. The report from Florida was like something you'd see on SNL. They showed the actual pack scurrying in front of a house.

I guess what really got me laughing was that the old lady opens the door to shoo the raccoons away when the "gang of raccoons" attacked her. They said once she fell, they enveloped her.

I really do hope she's OK know...the visual is pretty funny.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Happy Birthday Philly Native Larry Fine.

If Three Stooge Larry Fine were still alive today he'd be pretty old. Because he was born in 1902.

I don't choose to do the math on TBY because if I did, you'd never really learn it now would you?

Did you know Larry Fine was a violinist and a boxer? And that his dad accidentally spilled acid on his arm? Yup. It's all right here in this Wikipedia article.

Happy Birthday Larry Fine. Wherever you are.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Worst Singer On American Idol Crazy Chick Parody.

Most of this American Idol parody is stupid but when the girl sings at the beginning it's hysterical.

Look at those facial expressions. 38 seconds in is my fav.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Does Anyone Know What The Doctor Meant? Ohio.

So I had to get a physical yesterday and before the unpleasant finger in the butt to check for colon cancer (which I don't have), the Doctor said,

"Now since I'm from Ohio I'm going to have you roll on your side"...

I have no idea what she meant. Do you?

Maybe I was supposed to ask her what that meant and then there was a punchline to add some levity to the violation that was about to take place.

Seriously, what does that mean? Do most other States make you get on all fours?

Does North Dakota make you stand against a wall?

Does Oregon make you stand on one leg and hold the other leg behind your back and then you're instructed to KICK upon insertion?

I don't understand.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Modern Family is Funny. And Sofia Vergara? ..Nice.

If you haven't seen the show Modern Family you should check it out. It's on Wednesday nights. I saw the second episode last night and it's really funny.

It's about time for a new funny show. And check out Sofia Vergara in the picture above! She's in the show. Look how good looking she is. And she's Colombian so she's saucy too.

And I'll tell you a show NOT to watch. Cougar Town with Courtney Cox. It's on right after Modern Family and it's unwatchable. Anyone associated with it should be ashamed because it's a complete failure. So stay clear.

That is all.