Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
.....and little more fresh hot pepper from the That Blue Yak Vegetable Garden of Hope ....yup - that should do it.....Oh Hi. I was just finishing up making one of my mind blowing chili's that I'll be bringing to a party tonight. The downside is that it's a surprise party which means by definition, it won't be "all about ME." Which is unfortunate because over 100 people are expected. Some of them don't even know me - or my charms. But they will. It's just gonna take a little bit of elbow grease.
To give myself a memorable grand entrance, I'm gonna first call, pretending I'm the police and complain about the noise, "You need to keep the noise down".
I'll wait about five minutes then I'm then gonna put speakers outside of my car, and when I strut my junk in, I'm gonna be blaring this song. If you look at 43 seconds into the video, you'll get a little sneak peak as to what the guests will be doing.
Someone will say, "Zibbs, the police just called and said we had to keep it down."
I'll look at that person and say, "Problem solved" (I'll be holding the receiver of a phone - cord a danglin'). Someone tosses me a beer and I open using the teeth of a buck toothed gentleman that hopefully will be lingering around the buffet table.
Some chick will ask, "Who is that guy?"
Using a my catlike agility and a trick that Chris Angel taught me in Vegas, I'll suddenly be behind her - I'll tap her on the shoulder and say, "The question is - who AREN'T I?" (head tilted and brow raised). It'll make no sense but boy will it leave an impact.
I could tell you the rest, but honestly, I'm gonna ad lib the rest. That's just the my style. All I know, it's gonna be a slow ride.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Apparently it was on Route 30 - the White Horse Pike in Jersey in Hammonton. Even though my mom had a passion for fashion AND a craving for savings, I don't think we ever went there. It probably had something to do with the quonset hut - it sounds too foreign and different.
They in return respond in question form: "Bubble Up?"After 20 or 30 interactions with the public I now have GOLD!!!With some quick editing skills and an uncanny sense of rhythm, I now have a catchy little tune that goes something like this;
Bubble up, bubble up, bubble up
Bubble up, bubble up, bubble up
In the near future, I will take my 1980's boom box, hoist it high upon my shoulder and march down the street with the whimsical "Bubble Up" song playing loudly as children and woodland creatures gather too me.
Much like the famed Pied Piper.
All will be amazed as I become the talk of the town.
PLEASE READ IMPORTANT LEGAL INFORMATION ABOUT THIS POST IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Posted by Dr Zibbs at 3:45 PM
1) Always, always carry a camera, tape recorder, note pad and release forms.
Muse: Won what?
You: You'll see. (flee the scene).
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Here's a great animated short called F**k the Humans by one of my favorite cartoon creators Brad Neely. I just read however that Super Deluxe, the site that owns these videos is going down in a few months. Damn shame.
(POTTY MOUTH LANGUAGE ALERT - turn speakers down or up - depending on your coolness or squareness)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Look at this orangutan. You'd think he's almost human by the stuff he does and the way he walks. Well, more like a dwarf but - you know what I mean. Watch Super Chill Monkey on his journey to a casting call.
My friend in Malvern is painting his house this weekend. If I can get my Jerry Lewis imitation down I'm totally pulling this Batman and Robin bit on his soon to be falling off the ladder ass. Hold on...Let me see if I got it down, "Uh Lady....Ladiee...Lay-deeee" ....Nope. Still needs some fine tuning.
Friday, August 22, 2008
When I used to roller skate with my friend Craig in 9th grade - OK, it was 10th - only the classiest place would do. So instead of Caln Roller Rink, we'd head down Delaware way to the upscale "Spinning Wheels Roller Rink". It was similar to Studio 54 except there was no dancing, it had a snack bar and it was full of losers.
We were neither hard core skaters - with the satin jackets and stylish clothes nor the total amateurs. You might say -we were caught between two worlds. How did we survive this uphill battle? We survived with the help of a little song by the group Lipps, Inc. A song I like to call Funky Town. All Skate:
Posted by Dr Zibbs at 8:36 PM
Even though, "They call me Zibbs" was supposed to be in the lyrics of this Ting Tings song. I'm proud of these whipper snappers that I helped mentor. Ok, I didn't help but if they had asked me - I was there. Here's the video
This Weekend at THAT BLUE YAK is Video clip week. Here's a clip of one of the funniest shows ever - Strangers with Candy. I have all the seasons on DVD. If you like the Colbert Report, and me, you'll love this. Here's a clip from the show about the dangers of free speech. Are any of YOU fans of SWC? What's YOUR favorite episode or character? Let's share and discuss.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
It's amazing how you can be looking at something and you're sad. Then, Jesus comes and sprinkles his fairy dust on it in the form of a narrator and the situation suddenly goes from all crappy to totally glorious. Here's that magical peanut butter and jelly with a baseball bat moment. Now go out and make it a great day.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
How do you really explain a dance fight if you weren't there? It's tough. If you haven't lived through one, it's kind of like going to war. Not Nam or the Big One, but like the Falklands War.
The event that happened last night at the Waltz Barn in West Chester cemented my dance gang, The Zibbs Tip Taps, as the premier dance fighting gang in all of Chester County. With that said, enjoy this artists rendering* of my crew on the way to the barn (click on the art to see it at a larger size. Pretend YOU'RE on the way to the fight. Go ahead, give it a try):
*If anyone is interested in purchasing a limited edition print of "Next Stop, Dance Fight", I'll have them printed if I can order at least 1000 of them. It's really not worth my time to print any less. Maybe one of you could collect the money from the others, then just let me know when you have the 1000 orders. Also, I don't want to print over 5000 units because then the art goes from an investment to just a piece of fine art.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I've got my gang all riled up for the big Dance Fight we're gonna be having tonight. It's going to be taking place tonight at 11:00 sharp in the old Henry Waltz barn across from Peirce Middle School on Burke Road. My crew's getting set by stretching, eating right and watching videos - like this vid of Footloose.
Do you see Kevin Bacon practicing with his cowboy hatted friend (Sean Penn's brother)? My crew has been practicing DOUBLE that amount in the fields of Chester County ALL WEEKEND long! I know -it's hard to imagine. But no blood. No glory.
And a message to the "Downingtown Twinkle Toe Warlocks" that we'll be battling: you better have a few ambulances lined up..(dramatic pause)..BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA NEED EM! - See you at 11:00!!*
*Please bring a donation of a canned good which will be donated to a Chester County agency that helps bums.
Posted by Dr Zibbs at 1:37 PM
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Sorry, for cutting you off in the last post about the Big Dance Fight this weekend. My secretary came walking in and my pants were off so I had to put them back on. ...Anyways, back to the dance fight.
Here's a Kmart commercial from the 1970's or 1980's that I'm gonna play to get my crew in the mood for dance fight blood that's gonna be happening this weekend. If we're short on dancers, I might pull the Pied Piper bit that this guy in the video is doing. But instead of arriving at the savings place, the dancing zombies that follow me will be ending up in a deadly hornets nest - of DANCE FIGHTING!*
*if some of the dance fighters try to leave once at the fight, I might give them the incentive of a fee pair of Kmart stretch slacks.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
- "Did Andre' the Giant ever send you flowers, but instead of flowers, he sent a bouquet of trees?"
The world will never know these answers. Good bye Sandy.
It's pretty obvious to me that my readers are - I'll say this is delicately as I can - sluts and pigs. I mean that in a good way though. You enjoy life. You like gettin' in onnnnnn! You know what I mean. "If it feels good - do THIS!" - as they say (Do they still say that?)
I'll bet at least half of you are pregnant now and don't even know it. As a non-US licenced medical doctor I think it's OK for me to endorse a product that may be good for your unborn child. It's called Womb Treats. It's not approved by the FDA yet but by the American style filming of the commercial, could it really be that harmful?
Before I accept the endorsement, I need a few of you people to test it out and tell me what your baby looks and acts like when it's born. The people in the hospital or clinic that deliver your baby will know right away. I'm mostly eager to see if the baby has any super powers or ape-like strength mostly because I could totally endorse a product like that with 100% enthusiasm. Here you go:
Monday, August 11, 2008
Here's a list of my favorite old school Yo Momma So Fat jokes. These jokes are very big in the African American Community so most of you crackers won't get them right away. To help with your understanding I urge you to try to say them like you think a black colored might say them.
I wrote none of them as I ain't a racist like you. (and I'm 1/10th Cherokee. My great-great grandfather was an important chief. So,..you know).
- she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
August 8, 2008 - I don't know about everyone else, but I for one feel a bit ripped off over all of the hype concerning the ceremony at the Beiijing Olympics. I know the Chinese have been accused of being sneaky, but come on. As the old Chinese proverb says, "This looky like funny biz-nus". $250 million? Pu-leeaasse.
Whenever I feel like I might be going too far with my blog content. I take the wheel of my automobile and head on down to Fee Feesible Prophesies and look at all of the creepy pictures and videos. Then I'm reaffirmed, "Oh yeah, I guess I am saint-like.
A few days ago I was at the Chester County library and I went to the site and saw the creepiest, weirdo video clip that had me laughing so hard I had to go to another site and pretend I was at a funeral - I'm not kidding. I was giggling like an idiot and my shoulders were bouncing up and down with my laughter. Some guy (not the famous blogger) was looking at me like I was a fool. It was one of those moments, like when you're in church, praying to baby Jesus and a big fat guy blows his nose with a hanky or the Priest says something wrong like, "...and Jesus fried alone for our sins" - you know.
Anyways, here's clip that put me over the edge (note that I would put a direct link to the vid I'd have to show you the unrelated part of the post and you'd be confused):
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
OK people. You've crashed our system. We know you want a new blog post but blogger isn't letting us post the picture that is needed for the unbelievable post we just wrote. So you'll have to wait. So please, stop calling. Our phone ladies are already stressed from my constant berating.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Here's a video of that some gal made of herself while reading my award winning blog. Now it does take her a while to get though the post and I wish she had turned down the radio, but overall it's precious and adorable.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
OK. You've got watch this chimp video till the end. That's where you'll get the "Pay Off". And if you ask me, that wise (ass) owl had it coming. Also, you've got to love the guffaws at the end from the insensitive audience. I used to love Mutual of Omaha show.
Friday, August 1, 2008
This Ice Cream commercial you've got to see. What could have turned into a disaster on a hot day, turns into a study of an enterprising young Swedish whipper snapper getting an ice cold treat.
I will tell you my favorite part in this video. It's starts at 17 seconds in. Look at that young lady. Ice Cream is dripping down the cone - she's not gonna let it get away. Some stupider and uglier people would have have tossed the whole cone into the trash can and left it for the yellow jackets. Not Inga. She smartly takes a lick of the whole shaft of the cone, then eagerly takes a full in mouth ice cream treat. That's the spirit. She understands that there's some drippage. Will that bother her? "Forget that noise!" (she probably says).
Here is a test video I made a while ago called Wear Your Wig to Work Day. I literally put this thing together in 2 minutes. That's how talented I am. It's not as good as the other That Blue Yak produced video called The Gypsy Foot Care Factory, but it's OK. If you're smart, you'll subscribe (for free), to my YouTube channel because I'm totally going to be making more original motion pictures like these soon. You'll see.
Imagine that you, the reader, sees one of my videos first and instead of greeting coworkers with the boring, "It's hump day - right on", you'll be saying, "Did you see the new That Blue Yak video called the International House of Bag? It's great! What other crazy things do you think he has in his bag of tricks?"
Also, note the range of voices I've used from the Gypsy Foot Care Factory to the Wear Your Wig to Work Day. That's me voicing BOTH! Do you think they gave me the "Fred Travalena of Chester County voice award" for doing Cagney? No.