Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Phoenixville Pool Supplier Wins Hero Award

That Blue Yak would like to give this month's hero award to Phoenixville's Barto Pool and Spa for the courage to put a huge frickin' blue blowup gorilla outside of their business.

While neighboring businesses cowardly choose to announce sales with boring signs and banners, the fine folk at Barto use a big assed ape. Are they afraid that some customers might be afraid of the ape and not enter inside to see the potential discounts on pool and spa supplies? I do not know.

I'm sure there was concern that some potential customers might worry that there are more apes inside and their lives would be in danger if they entered. I'm sure the decision to inflate the "monster sale" ape was debated for months by the employees. ...we will never know. We also don't know if the Main Street business is getting pressure to remove the ape. We hope not - because as we all know, if you can't advertise spa and pool supplies with a big ole' balloon ape, the terrorists have won.

Monday, September 17, 2007

West Whiteland Tomato Thief Confession

The following is a confession by West Whiteland Tomato Thief: Denny Throckmorton:

Yes. I admit it. I walked to the back of my property in my West Whiteland home and saw something that I couldn't ignore. In the area by my fence, where I keep my skull collection, I found a tasty treat - tomato escapees as seen in this picture. I have no guilt. I will be chopping off the the sweet fruit and make a tasty salad. I will then march up to my vegetable journal and note that I need one less Burpee seed packet next season. After that, I will kick the door open in my basement and tell my imaginary wife of my accomplishment. She will be proud. We will proceed to the Exton Michael's store and make very sensible purchases of 3 oz votives - (totally unrelated to the tomato story above -but..that's how she is) . We will then retire for the night.

Bishop Shanahan Goes Green With Yearbook Deletions

It looks as though Downingtown's Bishop Shanahan High School will be going green in a very unique way. According to faculty, the PA Catholic school will be doing it's part to help with the environmental problems by cutting back on the unnecessary practice of publishing yearbook photos of both individual pairs of twins. An unnamed teacher put it this way,

"We all know that twins are pretty much the same person. It makes no sense that we have to see Ted Norris AND Billy Norris. It's redundant. We have not calculated the amount of ink and paper that will be saved, but I'm sure it will add up."
The school is first in the Philadelphia Archdiocese to participate in this test program. The hope, according to church officials is to make such a great impact on the environment, that the possibility of An Inconvenient Truth PART 2, will be ruled out.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Early Sam The Butcher Work

How many times has a complete stranger approached you and asked you about Sam the Butcher and his pre-Brady Bunch work? And you feel like a fool because you don't have an answer don't you? Until now.

I don't know what he did to Sherwood Schwartz to get the Brady Bunch gig but the acting in this Liquid Plumber commercial is downright awful:

Check out the Brady Bunch Shrine here .

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Lancaster's Long Park Art & Craft Festival Review

That Blue Yak's Milford Dean Darlak attended the 29th Annual Long's Park Art & Craft Festival in Lancaster - and boy did he have a good time.

It was great. It was an arts and crafts show but not only didn't I see a single clown as I usually see at festivals, there wasn't a single craft booth selling Popsicle stick yarn art. And sand art? Nowhere to be found. It was the perfect weather in Lancaster Sunday and there were many classy people there. Here are some pictures I took:

This was an Amish gal that I almost hit on the way there. "Hold on there Kinzer Kate. You don't want your bike smashed and I don't won't front bumper damage. So take your time. The pies will still be there when you arrive. Safety first."

Holy cow - a huge dog sculpture with a cut out bone in the middle. Hmmm...perfect for snooping.
When in doubt and feeling like an art rube, go with it with such comments as, "Those eyes in that painting are not even the same size" or "$1200? Are you crazy? I've seen paintings like this at Walmart for $19.99 and they even come with a frame."

Now you're talking. I was all set to enjoy a 100% Angus beef hot dog from Tri-County Barbecue Catering but when I got up to the counter, I noticed it was a foot long. I was too embarrassed to order it because people might have thought I was a gay so I settled for the hamburger. It was pretty tasty.

While doing research for this article I came across an interesting link about the amish and their nicknames. Check it out by clicking the word link: link

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Coulhoun Presents West Chester's Mr. Classy With Elvis Reese's Cup

Dear Nana Zibbs,

Not two hours after the Entemann's/Hostess posting I entered the Boot Road Wawa and who do I see? That's right - Calhoun. And do you know what that Delaware County bred hillbilly did? He reached into his overalls and opened his wallet and bought me one of the new Reece's Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Cream Cups and let me tell you they were downright delightful.

The banana cream resides below the peanut butter and nicely compliments the chocolate. Calhoun's favorite things are Elvis, food and boobs. If Hershey's (producer of Reese's) would just mold the the Elvis peanut butter cups into the shape of boobies I think Calhoun would give these morels and A plus!

Click on the following to read more about this new candy treat:

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Ask Nana Zibbs

Dear Nana Zibbs, I was just eating a delicious Entenmann's Cheese Danish I purchased at Wawa. As I was at the stoplight and enjoying it's light fluffy goodness, my friend - let's call him Calhoun - saw me eating it and made fun of me by doing the "international eating symbol" (holding hand up to mouth and munching at the air).

As a back round, I was recently on a trip with him to Nashville where he wolfed down at least 12 hostess cakes in a three day period. As I'm a very classy man, I never mentioned his awful eating habits. I've sent photographs of the actual wrappers for your reference.

How should I handle this delicate situation?


Mr. Classy, (West Chester, PA)

Dear Mr Classy, Firstly, your friend Calhoun is a big dummy. The hostess product he chose is a big ole' sugary cake that I can't even find on their website. Even Hostess is embarrassed of this product. I am familiar with this product however and it's awful! He clearly chose it by size, not taste. Your friend Calhoun is the type when asked "Would you like lobster for dinner or coco puffs?" - His answer would be, "Whichever has the larger portion please."
I've studied the photos you've thoughtfully enclosed and found something very revealing with package. The first thing is the lack of frosting on the inner package. The Nashville heat combined with the poor quality of this cake make it virtually impossible that no residue remain on the package. Calhoun was obviously licking the wrapper like a dog to get every sugary crumb. The second issue here are the tears I see right above the letter "t" in the word Hostess. My man eats, then he cries. Very sad indeed.
Calhoun obviously is a ticking time bomb and when he blows, it's going to be a mess and anyone within 50 feet with him will be covered in food. My advice to you is to find some friends with better eating habits.