Sunday, July 22, 2007

Barnes and Noble Janitor Arrested for Spoiling Deathly Hallows Ending for Readers

Allentown, PA

A Barnes and Noble cashier was arrested Saturday for "spoiling" the latest Harry Potter book ending for readers. Ted Denver, a cashier at the Allentown book chain was apparently taping post-it notes to the 3rd page of Deathly Hallows revealing the ending of the book.

Furious nerds heckled the 42 year old as he was taken out of the store in handcuffs. The hurled rocks and plastic promotional magic wands didn't stop Mr. Denver from defending himself,

"You're all freaks! Look at yourselves - you fatso. How old are you? 15? You're wearing a frickin' purple robe!"


According to fellow workers, Denver used to be a huge Star Wars fan until an uncle confronted him and humiliated him back to reality and made him realize that he was a complete nerd.

"It was really eye opening. I was 19 years old and I had never been on a date. Once I stopped obsessing about that Star Wars, I actually got a life. These Harry Potter freaks are even worse. I added the spoilers into the books because I really wanted to 'give something back' as they say."

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